I don't believe I'm perfect. We all have insecurities and parts of our appearance we would like to alter. For me, I'd quite like to be lighter, have bigger boobs and be able to afford the lash extensions and acrylics for the rest of eternity. Wishful thinking, eh? There's nothing wrong with wanting any of these things - in fact I fully intend to do all of them at some point in my life - but a recent scroll through Instagram gave me a rather unexpected light bulb moment about my (and the rest of society's) perception of beauty and perfection. We all have career aspirations throughout our lives; when I was little I wanted to be a graphic designer and then I wanted to be an architect. And, while these may no longer be my current aspirations, there was never a point in my childhood or my life, for that matter, that I doubted my ability to enter these professions. I think, at the age of seven, the world is your oyster. Unless you have an extreme fear of fire, you can be a firefighter. Unless you faint at the sight of blood, you can be a surgeon. There are a few career choices that may not be entirely accessible if you don't naturally hold the correct skills - for example, a sports person or an artist - but most paths are open until you learn what your interests are and what you are passionate about.
However, there's one path that is exclusive and it's entirely based on just one attribute; your appearance. I knew from a young age I could be a model. Before the age of ten I had accepted the fact that I did fit the profile, but never took it serious. Crazy, isn't it?
So, back to the inspiration for this post, I recently saw a post on the 'gram of someone showing off a gorgeous set of lingerie that she looked amazing in. She had tagged the brand and so, naturally I went to have a little scroll through their feed. The selection of models and regram'd influencers really hit me. Each one had perfectly toned abs (you know when they have that line down their tummy - that's apparently called an 'ab crack'), slim legs, a peachy bum and a glowing, natural tan likely earned through hours of lounging in the sun on an island resort. I realised that these girls looked nothing like me, nor most of society as a matter of fact.
I don't have skinny legs, my abs are about as existent as unicorns and I'm yellow, so the only tan I get comes out when I'm on vacation and lasts four days at most. But, for once I didn't feel upset by this. It was more of an eye-roll moment where I knew that what I was looking at was neither attainable nor realistic for me personally, and so I closed the brand's page and went back to scrolling my feed. What I and many other girls have strived for for so long in terms of appearance is sometimes just not possible. I will never be size zero or grow an extra 4 inches (but if I do I'd like those 4 inches to be on my legs, please). In truth, I'd say most of us look at pictures of models and foolishly strive for alternative bodies, skin, hair, the works, and half the time the model herself doesn't even look that way. In the words of Kendrick Lamar, 'I'm so fucking sick and tired of the photoshop'.
There's no shame is blurring out a spot on your chin at that time of the month, since you wouldn't normally look that way and that spot isn't a permanent part of your appearance. However, things become tricky when you're completely changing what you look like for fear that you don't look good enough. Hence why, when Missguided recently shared a campaign vowing to no longer blur out their models' stretch marks, I jumped for joy.
It's unlikely you'll ever look much like your 'body goals' or your 'wcw' because you are you. It's about time we start appreciating ourselves, myself included. If you want to get surgery, do it! If you like another girl's hair colour, her nose or her lip shape, go ahead and use that inspiration to fall further in love with yourself. But remember that you're never going to look exactly like someone else, and that's the beauty of being you. If you don't accept yourself now, you'll never be satisfied even after you make changes. I encourage you to notice what you do like about yourself, even if you choose just one thing. For me, yes I might not have a tan, skinny legs or an 'ab crack' but when I want to rock the pale look - I can. I have strong legs that I can lift heavy with at the gym (and thighs I can catch food I drop with). My abs may not show through enough to create an 'ab crack', but I like my curves.
If there's one thing I want anyone to take away from this post, even if it's just one person, is that you are good enough. We all have imperfections and, the next time you look at an Instagram model or the girl on the magazine cover, remember that she has them, too (their's have just been hidden with editing to create a false idea of what's attractive). If you're unhappy with a part of yourself that you can (and want to) change, then do so if it will make you happier. But if what you don't like about yourself isn't something you can alter then it is so important to accept it. It will take time but you are beautiful and, the likelihood is that there's another girl looking at you and wishing she had something you do.
Photography by Myriam Gonzalez.
Thanks for reading!
XO,
Denisse.