It’s a grey, hot day today and I’m nesting like a crazy lady. For some reason I felt the need to put down the boxes and take time out to express some of my thoughts that have been consuming me recently.
Soon there will be another little life vocalizing his needs within these walls and I am so excited. Excited is definitely my most heightened emotion right now but I also feel anxious, with so many questions whizzing around my head. Can my body do this? Will my baby boy be delivered safely into this world? How will Noah react? How will I get out the house with two when I’m always late now? If I can’t keep up with household chores now how will I ever manage looking after all the washing a newborn creates too as well as the endless list of other things I need to do? The answer to some of these questions is, ‘"Because, we are women, we are mothers and yes we have superpowers that enable us to just do it all somehow. Yes we may freak out sometimes and if it was a competition we would win a medal for the most moaning to our partners but that’s only because we care about our family and homes so much. We may be running late but we get there somehow and you can bet the kids look like a million dollars while we didn’t have time to shower this morning. Motherhood is bloomin’ hard work but we get the best rewards anyone could ever receive and that’s the love from a child!".
Dress from the amazing Ana Brandt brand Taopan gowns who provide gorgeous maternity props gowns. Picture by Kristy Lauren Photography.
Recently…
I went for a growth scan a few weeks ago and they measured this baby boy at 4lbs already and said he was pass with noah’s weight (while i was preggo with him), give or take 10%.
So to help this worrying mama (which is so not me by the way as I’m usually a positive thinker!) I’m praying hard about the whole birth process and that God will help us both through it and I keep speaking positive over it all and to trust myself. To accept that whatever birth method happens on the day is ok and not to get too hung up if it doesn’t happen the way I wanted it to happen.
For anyone reading this who’s pregnant for the first time, whatever birth you have there is no better feeling in the world than when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time. It is one of the most euphoric feelings that is indescribable and for that reason I would do it all over again time after time. It is so worth it! I said that straight after Noah was born despite his traumatic birth and it’s so true and I’m actually about to do it all over again :).
Anyway I feel like I’m being really negative and I need to think and speak positivity over this whole birth and trust that everything will be ok and that my body knows what it’s doing. I just hope that he’s not as big as Noah or, if he is, that my body is able to push him out naturally. I haven’t been given the option of a planned c-section but I’d really prefer to avoid that. I’m very, very anxious and I think it’s because of the unknown. I know I can’t guarantee that I’m going to have the perfect labor that I would love but the main thing in my head is I want this baby in my arms alive and well. If I end up having a c-section, epidural, stitches or whatever I don’t care as long as we are both here and ok. Everyone keeps saying that the second time is so much easier! I really hope that’s the case for me :). Ok I’ve said it, I’ve openly expressed and rambled and it feels good to share and be honest.
Thanks for reading 🙂 Happy 31 weeks 5 days to me!