I’ve always wanted to be a mother, above all else. I always dreamed of having a baby with a perfect, loving man, and raising a family together. Upon Timothy coming along, I had no idea when or if that would ever happen – but once we met, it became so clear to both of us that we wanted to start a life, and family, together. He made my dream that I once thought was purely a fairy tale, a reality.
When we found out we were pregnant, it came as somewhat of a surprise. We took two home tests that came back positive and i visited the OB two weeks later. Low and behold – 7 weeks and 2 days pregnant. As excited and happy as I was, I was still scared, I won’t lie (we had a miscarriage before)– but he remained strong for the both of us. He reassured me with every ounce of that strength and as I look back on it, I am so grateful he did.
The weeks ahead were long and exhausting. I was constantly getting hit with the classic “morning sickness” – usually nauseous all day with getting physically sick at least twice. It was so rough.
We’re both first-timers at this whole raising-a-baby thing, so we definitely learned and grew so much together as we explored this journey. I generally am the protective-over-everything type already, so I was usually the one freaking out and actively Google-searching over every little thing (and when I say little, I mean microscopic), usually causing myself heaps of anxiety and worry, especially in the beginning.
When it’s early in the pregnancy, and you’re months in between doctors appointments, there’s always that lingering fear that something could potentially go wrong. Honestly, it drove me absolutely crazy most of the time. But Tim ALWAYS reassured me that our baby will be healthy and happy, and that I’m doing an amazing job making sure of that. And sometimes, a little reassurance is all a mama really needs. When those doctors appointments finally rolled around, he never failed to be there with me, supporting me, listening, learning, even if it was through the phone. I’ll never forget the day he finally heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time. We watched the screen and saw our nugget (at the time he was no bigger than an avocado), and watched the little beat spike up. His face was priceless. It made everything so real, yet it still felt so surreal, if that makes any sense what so ever. Like magic, but better.
Alas, the infamous thought associated with pregnancy – hormones. Mean, bitchy, emotional, over-the-top-all-over-the-place irrational hormones. I would yell at him, bitch at him, throw him the MOST shade.. yet he always told everyone else, including myself when the subject would arise “she really isn’t that bad!”, being 100% dead ass serious. He took my tornado of an attitude like a complete champ. He blessed me with patience, never taking anything I blew up over too seriously, because it wasn’t serious at all. And when I would have emotional breakdowns, crying for hours throughout the day, he would never hesitate to grab me and just hold me. And when I would cry at the ridiculous dog commercial every time it came on TV, he would laugh and record me and I would end up cry-laughing as a result.
But most of all, the thing I realized most about my partner throughout this journey, was the constant, unconditional love he never failed to show me. His instinct was always on point. He always told me how beautiful and sexy I am, especially while carrying this life we created inside of me. He supported me. Believed in me. Empowered me. He was always, without fail, on my side and always looking out for us, protecting me and our baby, physically and emotionally. And without that, I don’t know how I would have gotten through the pregnancy.
This adventure has tested us in every way imaginable.. but together, we powered through it and grow closer every single day. It’s been a wild, emotional, eyeopening, amazing, beautiful experience and I’m so blessed to have gone through it all with the man I love the most by my side.
I cannot get over watching him holding our son, pouring out the love he gives to me, to him. He is our one-in-a-million and we are so lucky to have him.
